Week 34: Whining & Other Ailments in the World of a Preggo

This post stems from a request by my mom to visit for the weekend. Simple yes or no answers are not possible with her, thus requiring long explanations for why I cannot accept her request at this time. I thought it would be best to share with all to better describe my pregger experiences. Read on...

The reality of the situation is that I am pretty exhausted at this stage in my pregnancy and it takes me longer to get around, especially with the need to take extra breaks to avoid overexertion! I do not like being limited physically, but my body just does not want to cooperate. Am I pushing myself too much?

D is trying to get all of his travels and friend favors out of the way before M arrives, so I feel like I am donning it alone at home most of the time. Attempting to keep up with the dogs and the house work is not a simple task, especially in my state. In addition to home life, I am still working full time and easily spend an hour commuting each day. Work is not necessary mentally trying, but it can be quite stressful. My job requires some serious multitasking, so I am constantly being pulled in several directions and am trying to meet the many urgent deadlines to which my boss is working.

Did I mention the nesting? I am in serious nesting mode! (This subject deserves an entire posting.)

Did I mention that I have numb, tingling hands? (Both my mother and brother have had surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome and I have had symptoms of the syndrome for several years now.) I am still sore from my weekend nesting project. I cleaned, sanded, and painted the window and door trim where the dogs had scratched away the paint. I try to take it easy and not overexert myself, but this just means that I have to work in increments and it takes longer to finish a job. Perhaps I will soon adjust to this change of pace.

Bending over is virtually impossible, so I squat when I must. Needless to say, squatting is a challenge with a baby belly! It is also quite humorous for others, but not so much for me.

Vacuuming is a feat for me. About three weeks ago (week 30 or 31), I began having difficulty walking—it was painful! Apparently the baby is starting to descend and is putting pressure on the pelvic area. I chose to invest in maternity support (a Babies R US gift card came in handy here). The support takes the pressure off my back and legs, making it easier to walk and also more comfortable to sleep.

Last week the edema began. I had experienced one bout of feet swelling while Janice was in from NJ, but it only lasted for a day. This is an everyday thing now! The recommendation to relieve the swelling is to stay off your feet and butt. This is rather challenging, since I work in an office that requires long hours of sitting in a now uncomfortable chair. I wonder if my boss will let me invest in a recliner and hang my computer monitors on the wall of my office--hmm, doubtful.

[Here is a touchy subject. Read ahead at your own risk, for I know how judgmental and narrow minded some can be about this topic. Your support, encouragement, and sharing of your own personal experiences will be most helpful:

About six weeks ago (week 29), I started tapering off the anti-depressant I have been successfully taking for almost three years for major depressive disorder and anxiety. This was a rather difficult decision for me, as I (thought I) had done all the research on Zoloft and pregnancy and had discussed my options with my primary care physician. For my mental wellness, we both agreed that the benefits outweighed the (rather small) risks and that I should continue to take Zoloft during pregnancy. My Ob physicians did not necessary agree with this decision, as their primary concern is for the health of the baby and not the mother. They allowed me to continue to take the medication, but strongly advised that I stop taking the medication before delivery.

I went along with the decision of my Obs to taper off Zoloft before delivery (to avoid withdrawal in the infant) and then plan to begin taking the medication shortly after delivery. Since very little of the drug is expressed in breast milk, the drug will be of little risk to baby M when I breastfeed. I was concerned about post-partum depression prior to pregnancy, so I want to avoid it at all costs.

At week 32 and after about a month of tapering off Zoloft (with no clear instructions from medical professionals on the best way to do this), I was continuing to have a difficult time coming off the medication and had been having trouble sleeping. I shared my concerns with my Ob and she was not very sympathetic (once again, her primary interest was with the fetal care). Her recommedations were to exercise more (ideal, but I don't really have much energy or time for this), possibly take another medication (why would it be practical to switch to another medication when the original one was working so well (I am not a lab rat!), and to prescribe sleeping pills to help me sleep. Am I missing something? Wouldn't another anti-depressant have similar risks to baby M, not to mention an entire laundry list of possible side effects? Why would I want to take sleeping pills (another medication that may not be safe for baby M) and risk getting adjusted to this medication, not to mention possible side effects? Needless to say, I chose not to go on another anti-depressant and did not get the prescription for sleeping pills filled.

I chose to schedule our next two-week Ob appointment with another physician in the practice. It has been two weeks since my last Ob visit and this is my first week of being off Zoloft completely and it is still a challenge. I have good days and bad days. Thanks goodness the Ob I saw this week was very encouraging and supportive--exactly what I needed. He explained that Zoloft is difficult to come off of due to withdrawal. (Why hadn't anyone else mentioned this before?) He recommended that I consider taking a low dose of Zoloft every other day or even every day, as it may be beneficial to me now. His patience and understanding has made all the difference.

Although not easy, the reason I shared this experience was to encourage others that they are not alone and hopefully for others to avoid the hell I have gone through. I don't really have many complaints about pregnancy, for I knew in advance that I was temporarily giving up my body to grow a life that D & I would love so very much. The complaints began when I started going off Zoloft. I did not cry once during pregnancy until very recently. Now I cannot control my tears, my emotions, or the amount of talking I do. I cannot say whether my ailments are associated with pregnancy alone, being without an anti-depressant, or both; all I can say is that it has been tough and every day is a challenge. I am blessed to have wonderful friends and family to speak with and help me through this trying time. I know that it will all be worth it when I hold my son for the first time--cannot wait!

This is the end of the touchy subject. You can now continue reading about more whining. ;-)]

In addition to my mom's request, I have declined requests for friends. As much as I would like to spend one-on-one quality time with everyone, it just isn't realistic right now. There is so much to do before M arrives!

I really need to take care of me right now, which in turn means doing what is best for baby M and Mommy and resting when possible. I have bailed on a lot of invites lately, merely because I just don’t have the time. I hope you understand.

Did I mention that we are at the 34 week mark today? Only 42 days to go…

"Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute. Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while. The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses
falling all around. ..." --Alanis Morissette, All I Really Want